Alabama Black Holes

The University of Alabama football team has won another National Championship. I cannot adequately express how conflicted this makes me. On one hand, my college roommates and some of my best friends are Bama fans, and I want them to be happy. My own mother and a whole bunch of her family are Bama fans. Obviously, I want my family to be happy! I know some Ohio State fans - and I want them to be unhappy. Why wouldn’t I want Bama to win another one!? Imagine being friends with a football-shaped black hole. Take your time. That’s tough. Bama fans will win every “argument,” win every “discussion,” and win every game by absorbing and demolishing any football-shaped “planet.” The analogy falls apart at some point. Hang with me. College football has started to feel completely hopeless. Even if you cobble together one championship (LSU), or the unlikely two (Clemson), the idea of stringing SIX ‘ships together for a dynasty like that feels as improbable as Justin Field’s Heisman odds. Plus you throw in the Bear’s rings!? It. is. finished. If I allow my mind to chase this thought like a defensive back chasing Devonta Smith it gets dark - quick. Sometimes I think college football is dead. This is like saying a very, very good friend of mine is dead. That good friend was also the lead singer of an incredibly popular band, that is to say, they are well known and liked all across the country. But that rockstar friend of mine was slowly drowned in a Crimson Tide on national television and in my living room for 11 years. These are the dramatic words of a hopeless fan in January. Maybe in September, my fandom will thaw. Perhaps then I will wake with excitement for another College Gameday with visions of my team, your team, SHOOT even the Irish team winning for once. A sign of life for us outside the Tide. If it doesn’t thaw, good. I have stuff to do.